40

Today is our 40th wedding anniversary.  I'm filled with gratitude for having had the opportunity to share so much of my life with Deborah.  The undeserved happiness it's given me, which a religious person might say was akin to the workings of divine grace, needed some spectacularly good fortune and some very amply rewarded work.  First, we had to meet, and at the right time.  We had to be willing and able to put up with each other's idiosyncrasies.  We had to make compromises, and changes, and commitments.  On a foundation of mutual respect and admiration, we built a mansion of many rooms, all filled with treasured memories.  No hurricane or earthquake in the form of a health or other personal tragedy has interrupted this construction project, and no such disaster could truly destroy what we had together.  Our greatest joys are our daughters, who (hey, kids, back me up here) have seen what Deborah and I mean to each other.  And every day occasions new revelations of how wonderful my dear wife is, so we're still making additions to that mansion.  (Next year, a glass house?)  Thank you, darling.  May we have many more anniversaries, and may they all be as joyous as this one.

The Friends and Family Plan

They say that to have friends, you have to be a friend.  Deborah has lots of friends.  Good friends, great people.  Old friends, new friends.  There are parents of kids our kids went to school with.  People Deborah went to school with.  Ex-coworkers.  Ex-neighbors.  Current neighbors.  Book club pals.  Exercise class pals.  Now they're all friends Deborah keeps up with.  It's no effort for her because she loves these people.  From what I can tell, they love her too.

She didn't choose her family (though I suppose I was a choice) as she chose her friends, but I know she loves us too.  She takes after her mother in this.  I don't know anyone who is more selflessly devoted to her kids than Esther, or who makes more of an effort (successful) to stay close to them.  It's a different model than my family followed; we didn't speak for many weeks at a time even when my parents were alive, and now I see my sister who lives a few hours away maybe once or twice a year, and talk to her maybe once every six weeks.  But we have better communication (thanks to Deborah) with Esther, Janet, David, Julia, Audrey, and our new additions Tom, Ros, and Keith, and it's great.

These relationships enrich us all.  I'm kind of along for the ride, and what a ride.  Thanks!